Becoming a step parent has never been an easy task. And, bonding with step children is like a mission to accomplish. We all know that love takes times to grow! Therefore, one cannot expect things instantly. Raising children has always been a big a challenge and if you are a stepfather- the challenge is even bigger. Initially when you step on to the life of your step daughter, it will be something like a mini honeymoon period followed by something completely opposite to this. And, that’s because the freshness of the relationship has vanished and reality is setting in. She might find it difficult to accept the fact as why her Mother needs a replacement for her dad. Some stepdaughters might take years to actually accept their stepfathers. But, here are a few tips that can facilitate an easy bonding with your step-daughter.
You will have to wait! Be patient and allow the relationship to move at your stepdaughter’s pace. At some point, she will want your involvement as a father figure in your life. And, that could be for anything she might need you like: helping for homework, asking money for lunch or may be if she is craving to have a toy. You will have to make her realize that you are not looking out to replace her dad but just want to make a room in her heart. She will even respect you for that fact!
If you and your wife have plans for a kid, the initial response of the kid would be a range of emotions and that too something like an outburst too. That’s obvious, for it’s difficult to accept the 2nd new person all of a sudden. But, here you can do something like involve your stepdaughter to handle a few things. Take her help to decorate the baby’s room and look out names for the new sibling. Once the baby has come, you will automatically pay your attention towards the new baby and that’s quite natural but you just have to be a bit sensitive to the fact that your daughter might conclude things differently. In such situations, it is important for you to stay connected with your stepdaughter. You will have to make her feel an accepted member of the family.
Buying her expensive gifts and giving her money all the time will not make you win her respect. She will only get spoilt and will treat you nothing more than a Santa Claus. One thing that you can give her is the same mutual love that you expect from her. Give full attention to her when she speaks to you and also advise her when she needs it.
Appreciation and love takes time to grow. Therefore, it is unrealistic to expect that she would love you right away. The only thing as an adult that you can expect is respect. You can also seek her Mothers help to know about her interests. Even she may happen to like some of yours! No step father can proceed in a relationship without hearing “you are not my father!” It all begins from here, but again every girl needs a daddy. If her real dad is not there then she will need someone who can replace him. Grieving the loss of her biological father has no set time table. And, when a new dad enters her life- it will take tiem time for her to trust you!