Is being nice harmful to one’s lives. Have you come across people saying “now this is enough, I’m not doing anything for anybody ever after,” – yes we do to hear all this. In fact, a lot many times we ourselves say things like…I’m sick of all this and will not let this happen anymore. I get no respect for doing what I am doing and I have always have to do things in someone else’s way. Most of the time, such situations arise in a relationship. You want to be the best girl ever for your favourite guy and to your surprise, things end up being something absolutely the other way. Or that could be for any other person as well.
At times, tensions arise in a relationship from an absolutely surprising source. Things that you are doing to help your relationship grow are actually ruining it. Sometimes, people dissolve themselves on being so nice in a relationship that they actually end up feeling the need to move out of it and re –establish their own identity. And, this could be any kind of relationship you are with someone. You go up to such an extent of doing everything for that special person that you actually forget the person you are. Your aims, dreams, aspirations and your identity everything is in dark. You are so much swallowed up in the relationship that you have absolutely forgotten yourself.
One can be nice to their partner in various ways. That could be when you are constantly sacrificing your wants and needs to accommodate your partner’s needs. Also, when people are afraid of conflicts and overly concerned with keeping others happy end up in giving too much in a relationship. They do not express their thoughts and opinions for the fear of upsetting their partner. You are rescuing your partner from the consequences of their actions. You refuse to bring in subjects that would lead to a conflict. By constantly pleasing everyone and hoping that someone will give back for it will get you burned out in your relationship. Initially, the partner may consider it great having a partner who is constantly giving them whatever they want. However, with time even the partner will get frustrated as they cannot fix any opinion out of their people pleasing partner. The confusion will begin when their people pleasing partner will start showing their resentment. When people pleasers get seriously burned out, their behaviour drastically changes from pleasing to absolutely obnoxious and refusing everything.
You can be nice in a relationship but again as long as you have a backbone and respect yourself equally. Recognize your limits and set your boundaries accordingly. Be honest, communicate openly and respect your needs and your partner’s needs as well. Let your partner also bear the consequences of their behaviour. There is equal contribution required for a meaningful relationship! So, just be yourself.