Just the other day, a bunch of us girlfriends got together to have a few drinks and talk about the guy one of us had recently broken up with. While this might seem like a routine thing all girls indulge in every time matters of the heart go wrong, there was an exception to the rules. A neutral male friend was invited too. Though we all hate to compromise on girls’ time, this was done to get into the heads of the males we can neither live with or without and get to know what they are thinking post-breakup. Did we get the answers we were hoping for? Read on.
What is a guy really thinking of when his relationship starts tasting worse than that half empty bottle of beer that has been lying behind his couch since the last weekend? I don’t know about the others but I certainly want him to be wallowing in regret, sadness, guilt and shame. It would satisfy me immensely if all he did was talk about me to his friends over beers and football. If he told them he thinks about me, misses me, regrets all that he did to me, itches to call me and patch up with me, it would make me a very happy woman. High hopes, tells my male friend.
If he is to be believed, majority of the men are rational beings (I feared this all along) and they look at breakups as they would look at any other crisis. They rationalise things and go about crisis management methodically. Whether a guy was mercilessly cast away or he did the breaking up thing, chances are, you won’t catch him having brunch with his mates and sharing the emotional upheaval he has recently undergone.
Despite the entire hullabaloo about men and women belonging to different planets, the fact is, the range of emotions felt by both sexes is quite similar. The way those emotions are expressed is where the difference lies. If it is any consolation (it definitely is for me but just a consolation, not the jackpot), men do think about their women once their relationships have ended. Some obsessively, some not so much. But men don’t believe in talking about it while women believe in verbally vomiting it all out.
Women complain that men don’t talk enough and men complain that women talk way too much. Which is better coping mechanism? Well, who is to judge that? But coming back to the question, what are men thinking after a break up, the answer is – you, among lots of other things! Happily and unhappily too but you are there in his mind. However, you are sealed in a coffin that he doesn’t want to open to show to his pals or even to himself. Deal with that.